Happy Days

Description

MARGERY



I. HER SOCK



I



When Margery was three months old I wrote a letter to her mother:

Dear Madam,-If you have a copy in Class D at 1/10d. net, I shall be glad to hear from you.

I am,

The Baby’s Uncle.

On Tuesday I got an answer by the morning post:



Dear Sir,-In reply to yours: How dare you insult my child? She is in Class A1, priceless and bought in by the owner. Four months old (and two days) on Christmas Day. Fancy!

I am,

The Baby’s Mother.

Margery had been getting into an expensive way of celebrating her birthday every week. Hitherto I had ignored it. But now I wrote:



Dear Madam,-Automatically your baby should be in Class D by now. I cannot understand why it is not so. Perhaps I shall hear from you later on with regard to this. Meanwhile I think that the extraordinary coincidence (all but two days) of the baby’s birthday with Christmas Day calls for some recognition on my part. What would Margery like? You, who are in constant communication with her, should be able to tell me. I hear coral necklaces well spoken of. What do you think? I remember reading once of a robber who “killed a little baby for the coral on its neck”-which shows at any rate that they are worn. Do you know how coral reefs are made? It is a most fascinating business.

Then there is a silver mug to be considered. The only thing you can drink out of a mug is beer; yet it is a popular present. Perhaps you, with your (supposed) greater knowledge of babies, will explain this.

Meanwhile, I am,

The Baby’s Uncle.

P.S.-Which is a much finer thing than a mother.

To which her mother:



My Dear Boy,-It is too sweet of you to say you would like to get Baby something.
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